“Je Maintiendra” is French for “I WILL MAINTAIN”
This is another of my “taglines” on my email. I just like it. It says that no matter how I feel, or what I am going through, I WILL maintain! It is a reminder for me to just hang in there, and be tough, keep my wits and dignity about me.
These days it’s not so hard. I adopted this little affirmation, long ago, when my oldest child and I were apart (my ex moved her around Nevada and California for seven years to accomplish this). She will be 22 in a few days now. I wanted to fall apart, because there was nothing I could do. Of course I went through a mourning period. Of course, I was sad, of course, I tried to reach her, I sought her…. I quit counting address after a dozen, I think… It was awhile back. But, in the long run, the best way to take care of her, and my other kid at the time, was to take care of me. The best way to prepare for her return (yes, mothers, they do come home) was to take care of me…. someone once told me to get ready for her return, get prepared… and I did. I pulled myself together, and went to college, eventually I lit a candle and said good-bye. Eventually, she came back. Today, she says that I am her hero. And she is one of mine. One thing we have both managed to do is to Maintain.
Pamela Ann Miller, born December 21, 1983. I LOVE YOU!!!
P.S. The pictue included with this blog is of me and my ex. I don’t care about him so much. But, for those of you who did not know me when I was young… notice, I’ve not always been FAT! (EGADS!!). I was about 19 or 20 years old there. The picture was taken somewhere between 1982/83. It was taken at my dad’s home, at that time outside of Woodburn, Oregon. About a three hours drive north of where I live now.